The Future is Ours - If We Can See It

Hey there, friend. Can I be honest with you for a minute? There's something I've been thinking about a lot lately, and it's been weighing heavily on my heart.

It's about the way we, as women, have been conditioned to see our own futures. Or more accurately, the way we've been conditioned not to see them at all.

I was reminded of this just the other day, when I was chatting with my good friend Sarah. She's been talking about this dream she's had for years - to quit her corporate job and start her own boutique flower shop. And you could just see the light in her eyes as she described it, the way her whole face would just...beam.

But then, as quickly as that light had appeared, it seemed to dim. "I don't know, though," she sighed. "It just feels so selfish, you know? With the kids and everything, I should really be focusing on providing for my family, not chasing some pipe dream."

My heart broke a little in that moment, because I recognized that struggle. The constant pull between our own desires and the needs of those around us. The nagging voice that tells us we're being too self-indulgent, that we should be pouring all of our time and energy into caring for others.

I know that voice intimately. It's the same one that used to tell me I was being ridiculous for wanting to write full-time, instead of sticking with my stable corporate gig. The one that made me feel guilty every time I carved out an hour or two for my passion projects, instead of devoting that time to my husband or my family.

And I think so many of us women can relate to that experience, can't we? From a young age, we're conditioned to be the nurturers, the caretakers - the ones who always put the needs of others before our own. We're taught to be "good girls" - obedient, selfless, ever-focused on maintaining harmony and making sure everyone around us is happy and taken care of.

Whether it's excelling at domestic duties, being the emotional glue that holds the family together, or constantly putting our partners and kids first, the message is the same: our purpose is to serve. And heaven forbid we step out of that role to pursue something for ourselves. We're met with guilt, shame, the nagging feeling that we're being selfish.

It's no wonder, then, that so many of us struggle to clearly envision and pursue our own futures. When our focus is perpetually turned outward, it becomes incredibly difficult to get clear on what it is that we truly want. Our dreams and aspirations get buried beneath the demands and priorities of those around us.

And even when we do manage to uncover those buried dreams, we can be paralyzed by self-doubt. "Is this even realistic?" we wonder. "Am I being too self-indulgent?" The future we long for feels perpetually out of reach, like grasping at something just beyond our fingertips.

But you know what? That future is ours. It's always been ours. We just have to be willing to claim it.

I know it's not easy - undoing a lifetime of conditioning isn't a simple task. But it's possible. It starts with learning to balance those caring instincts with a renewed focus on our individual wants and needs. It means getting crystal clear on our personal visions for the future, and then summoning the courage to take steps towards manifesting them.

It's about unlearning the messages that have told us we're being selfish, and instead embracing the idea that pursuing our own dreams is an act of self-love - one that ultimately makes us better partners, better parents, better members of our communities.

The future is ours, my friend. If only we can see it. So let's start seeing it, shall we? Let's get clear on what it is that we truly want, and then let's start taking those courageous steps to make it a reality. Because the world needs the unique gifts that only we can bring.

What do you say - are you ready to reclaim your future?